Wisdom for Effective Communication Proverbs 18

Call To Worship  2 Corinthians 5:1-11      Law and Grace reading  James 3

Bible reading   Wisdom for Effective Communication Proverbs 18    Benediction  Jude 24,25

Today I want to talk to you about the more important thing I know in the home (other than just loving the Lord), and that is this matter of communication. I heard of a man sitting next to another man on a bus, and the man noticed that his friend was wearing his wedding ring on his right hand and on the index finger. Now, most people wear their wedding ring, of course, on the hand, on this particular finger. The man said, "That's strange." He said, "Is that your wedding ring?" He said, "Yes." He said, "Why are you wearing it on the wrong finger?" "Well," he said, "I married the wrong woman." Now, it may be that you think that you married the wrong woman, but you may not have married the wrong woman. It may be that you never learned, really, how to communicate with your wife and vice versa.

Proverbs 18:21      Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. ²² He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.  (Proverbs 18:21–22).

And so, our Lord mentions a happy marriage and communication side by side: "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" (Proverbs 18:21).

It is said that in the average day a man speaks about 20,000 words, a woman speaks about 30,000 words. Of course, the problem comes when the man comes home at night and he's already used his 20,000 and she has 10,000 left. One man said, "Do you ever resent your wife for getting the last word?" He said, "No, I'm glad when she gets to it." Your, you can get in trouble with words. I mean, your mouth can get you in serious trouble in, in a hurry. One young man was working in a supermarket. He was in the produce department. And a lady came in, and she said, "Young man, I would like one half head of lettuce." He said, "Well, madam, I don't think we could sell one half head of lettuce." She said, "Young man, I said I want one half head of lettuce. Do you understand?" "Well," he said, "pardon me, let me go check." So he went back to the manager of the produce department, and said, "Boss," said, "there's an old lady out here." Said, "She's got a face like a hatchet and, she, she's a little funny.

And she says she wants a half head of lettuce." And he turned around and the woman was standing right behind him. But he said, "You know, boss, I think we're in luck because this dear lady wants the other half." After it was over, the boss sat him down and said, "Son, you're, you're a remarkable young man. That, that's pretty good. You landed on your feet. You're, you're sharp. Maybe you could go places. Where are you from, son?" "Duneedoo", "Oh." He said, "What's that known for?"

"Oh," he said, "great football teams and ugly women." "Well," he said, "son, my wife "Oh," he said, is from Duneedoo!" To which he replied, "what team does she play for?" Your tongue can get you in a lot of trouble. As a matter of fact, the words you use, the way you speak is really a sign of your spiritual maturity. 

Wisdom for Effective Communication

Proverbs 18:21      Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. ²² He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.

Have you ever heard any body say, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me"? Don't believe it. The cruelest cut of all is often spoken words.

WISDOM FOR EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

Proverbs 16:13     Kings take pleasure in honest lips; they value a man who speaks the truth.

We have a tremendous opportunity to present the Lord Jesus Christ to our community next Sunday.

Like the great evangelist John Wesley we too can say: "I came to town and offered them Christ."

2 Cor 5: 11 Therefore, knowing the fear of the Lord, we persuade others. But what we are is known to God, and I hope it is known also to your conscience.12 We are not commending ourselves to you again but giving you cause to boast about us, so that you may be able to answer those who boast about outward appearance and not about what is in the heart.13 For if we are beside ourselves, it is for God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you.14 For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died;15 and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

Explain it in the common tongue  In phrases clearly understood,
Just how it was for me He hung    For me was shed this kingly blood.
For only vaguely do I sense your meaning   Reverend, and it's late.
Really I mean no offense — But speak up man! Communicate!

So keep to basics if you can    This mind's a mighty void to fill
Then if you can't Lord, help this man  And lead me to someone who will!"

Proverbs 24: 26  An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.

Proverbs 25:12 Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man's rebuke to a listening ear.   

Proverbs 27: 5 Better is open rebuke than hidden love.  6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.

Wisdom for Effective Communication

BE CONCISE

Proverbs 17: 27 Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. 28 Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.

Now, we ought to listen more than we talk. God gave us two ears and only one mouth.  

Proverbs 21:23 Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble.

BE CONTROLLED

Proverbs 13:3  He who guards his lips guards his life, but he who speaks rashly will come to ruin.

James 3:7 For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, ⁸ but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

Prov 29:20 Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.

BE COURTEOUS       Proverbs 11:12 A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his tongue. 13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.  Proverbs 10:19 When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.

BE CALM  Proverbs 17:27 A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered.

Proverbs 15:1 A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

James 1:  ¹⁹ Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; ²⁰ for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

Some time ago I had to change planes from the small Oklahoma airport and the giant Dallas airport. They have a train at Dallas to get you to the right plane at the right time.  I got on the right train. It got me to the next terminal with only minutes to spare.  And then, right in front of me, a passenger was having a long winded argument with an airline employee at the gate. There was no way of getting past them.  The Passenger was super aggressive. The airline employee was so patient.  At the end of it, again with only seconds to spare, I remarked to the airline employee, "How on earth did you keep your cool with that guy? I am amazed at your patience! You did it so well!" "Wahl" the employee drawled, "I know he is going to Los Angeles, and I know his bags are going to Anchorage Alaska!"

BE CONSIDERATE

Proverbs 18:13 He who answers before listening--  that is his folly and his shame.

Proverbs 18:17 The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him.

BE CULTIVATED

Proverbs 15:28  The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but  the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.

Proverbs 2:6 For the LORD gives wisdom, and from his mouth come knowledge and understanding

James 1:21 21 Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.

James 3: 13 Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life

Matthew 12:34 You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.

A lion met a tiger As they drank beside a pool
Said the tiger, "tell me why… You're roaring like a fool."
"That's not foolish;" said the lion, with a twinkle in his eyes,
"They call me king of all the beasts because I advertise!"
A rabbit heard them talking, and ran home like a streak.
He thought he'd try the lion's plan, but his roar was just a squeak.
A fox, who happened on the scene, had a fine lunch in the woods.
The Moral? When you advertise, just be sure you've got the goods.