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Church Coups by Thom Rainer

Anatomy of a Church Coup by Thom S. Rainer February 21, 2021 There is nothing new under the sun, including church coups. The impetus behind this article is the greater frequency of the coups taking place. It is, I guess at least in part, yet another consequence of COVID. They have been around a long time; they are just more frequent now. For certain, no two coups are identical. Any type of examination or anatomy of a coup will always have exceptions and outliers. Our team at Church Answers has, however, seen patterns that are common to most coups. Here are some of the patterns: The target is the pastor. Whether perceived or real, those engaged in the coup think they can do a better job than the pastor. If the pastor does not go along with their "suggestions," the plan to remove him begins. The coup participants are usually church staff and lay leaders. The staff often report directly to the pastor. They are convinced the pastor is bad for the church, and that...
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Facing Burnout Mark 3

Back in the mid 1990's I was experiencing the stresses that accompany a pastor of a growing church.  Several exciting events had occurred:  Moving from a country parish I was asked by the police commissioner to chair the NSW Police Integrity commission (I declined. As I was only in my early 30's and I worried about the distraction, and risk).  The church was transitioning from being a family sized church to a larger multi-staff church.  We were involved in planting a church for our young families who had moved to a non churched area.   I was preaching three different new sermons each week.  I was doing the groundwork forming a committee producing the paperwork to form a Christian school in that non churched area.  Our church leadership decided to progress to building a new church building, sending the old building to another area as a Christian school.  I was working with everyone to help their dream to come to fruition, negotiating loans....
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When I Survey Galatians 6

But as for me, I will never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ. The world has been crucified to me through the cross, and I to the world. the strains of the beautiful hymn, When I survey, nearly melted me to tears before the waiting workers. Think about these words. "When I survey the wondrous cross, on which the Prince of Glory died, " I seem to see before the eyes of my heart the very dying form of One who suffered there for me. The Prince Of Glory. Lord. Creator. Second person of the Trinity! God incarnate. Sometimes I have wondered, "How Could God ever forgive those men that nailed His Son to the cross?" The Lord Jesus prayed for them "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." His prayer was answered, we read in Acts 6 where many of the jewish priests became obedient to the faith Acts 6:7 And the word of God increased; and the number of the disciples multiplied in Jerusalem greatly; and a great company of the prie...
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Responding to Injury by Bill Elliff

HOW DO YOU RESPOND WHEN OFFENDED? It happens to all of us. Someone does or says something that hurts. It can be legitimate or illegitimate… true or a little truth laced with lies. Or it could be completely wrong and fully dishonest. Whatever it is that is said or done, it hurts. They may know what they did and even had done it with malice or be completely oblivious. OUR IMMEDIATE RESPONSE Anger is the normal response. There is a righteous anger that can be needed at times. But for most of us, that's not our problem. We respond with anger because we're hurt, our "rights" are trampled, we're misunderstood, misrepresented, or marginalized. The tragedy is that anger accomplishes nothing of value. In fact, it usually drives us to harsh words and reactions, which just stir up further strife. Done often enough, it creates patterns that become a sad part of our character. THE WISE RESPONSE Solomon made an observation about how wise men and women respond when...
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Truth.

The epistemological problem.  Stackhouse reflects that there has been a simple progression of opposing views of truth.  Is truth subjective or is it objective?  I was surprised to learn from a Catholic theologian  Jean Daniélou  (1905–1974)  that truth is both objective and subjective.  To the Greek mind the term truth refers to objectively always independent of the person.  To the Hebrew mind truth is always personal and has a personal responsibility aspect.  Truth is something you do.  Stackhouse records the pendulum  movements from rationalism, empiricism of Kant, modernism of the age of science and now more recent postmodernism, where truth is just that which appeals to the individual. We are familiar with the power games of Foucault played out in Australian politics as advocates for differing social issues promote their personal preferences as normative, or at least participative for the direction of a society.  Our Lord J...
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Matt 7. The Two Ways

Jesus Paints a Portrait of Two People by Dr. Franklin L. Kirksey Jesus, as a master artist, portrays two people as they journey through time into eternity. He employs the medium of word pictures to convey these concepts on the canvas of your mind. Jesus said, "Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and there are many who go in by it. Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, and there are few who find it (Matthew 7:13-14). Note several things in these verses. First, there is a portal of entry. Jesus begins, "Enter by the narrow gate" and later He refers to those who "go in by [the wide gate]." These days we hear about college athletes entering the transfer portal. Someone explains, "The portal was designed to simplify the complicated process of players unhappy at their current schools finding a new program and a new coach." Charles H. Spurgeon said, "Hel...
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Division by Bill Elliff

THE NATURE OF SPIRITUAL DIVISION Some people naively believe that everyone should be united, that we should all just "get along" regardless of the issues involved. But they fail to understand the nature of spiritual disunity. IN THE BEGINNING … of the church, right after Christ had ascended and the fledgling church had begun, we see this division in Acts 14. 1 In Iconium they entered the synagogue of the Jews together, and spoke in such a manner that a large number of people believed, both of Jews and of Greeks. 2 But the Jews who disbelieved stirred up the minds of the Gentiles and embittered them against the brethren. 3 Therefore they spent a long time there speaking boldly with reliance upon the Lord, who was testifying to the word of His grace, granting that signs and wonders be done by their hands. 4 But the people of the city were divided; and some sided with the Jews, and some with the apostles. Paul and Barnabas went to the religious establishment (t...
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Acts 2. Peters sermon

Jesus Saves by Dr. Franklin L. Kirksey Peter preached on the day of Pentecost and saw about three thousand people saved (Acts 2:41). Here are three highlights from his sermon that reveal his approach and appeal. First, note the authenticity of Jesus is verified and exhibited. Acts 2:22-24 reads, "Men of Israel, hear these words: Jesus of Nazareth, a Man attested by God to you by miracles, wonders, and signs which God did through Him in your midst, as you yourselves also know— Him, being delivered by the determined purpose and foreknowledge of God, you have taken by lawless hands, have crucified, and put to death; whom God raised up, having loosed the pains of death, because it was not possible that He should be held by it." Peter emphasizes your need for redemption through Jesus Christ. Make certain you trust the real Jesus. Second, note the activity of Jesus is magnified and exalted. Acts 2:32-36 reads, "This Jesus God has raised up, of which we are all witne...
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Final Cut off

The last thing a narcissist does before cutting you off. You'd think they'd just leave. That when they're done with you, they'd walk away quietly and move on. But narcissists don't operate that way. They can't just end things and go. Because leaving isn't enough for them—they need to destroy you on the way out. They need to make sure that even after they're gone, you're still dealing with the damage they caused. So here's what they do right before cutting you off: they destroy your reputation. They launch a final, comprehensive smear campaign designed to ensure that when you're no longer together, no one believes your side of the story. They poison every mutual connection against you. They tell lies so convincing that people who've known you for years start questioning your character. They paint themselves as the victim and you as the abuser. They take every private vulnerability you shared and weaponize it publicly. They twist e...
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Joseph

Putting a Face on Forgiveness by Dr. Franklin L. Kirksey Joseph enjoyed a blissful situation for his first seventeen years of life. His doting father gave him special privileges signified by his multicolored coat. Then suddenly, Joseph entered a black situation not of his own choosing but through the evil act of his brothers who hated him. After thirteen years of separation from his father and his favorite son status, Joseph encountered a blessed situation that was a blessing to his father, who thought he was dead, and to his entire family. Without forgiveness, it never would have happened. What can we learn from Joseph about forgiveness? Here are three snap shots from some of his darkest days. First, see Joseph forging purposefully ahead with God's attendance. Joseph did not give up. In Genesis 39:2 we read, "The Lord was with Joseph." Joseph was still a man on a mission. When Potiphar's wife tried to seduce Joseph, note how he responded in Genesis 39:8-9, ...
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Baiting and lies

The Narcissists favorite gaslighting abuse tactic is to set you up to be angry and then shame you for the anger, it's practically a form of entertainment for them. They provoke you intentionally—through subtle digs, blatant disrespect, lies, or by twisting your words—until you naturally react. Then, the moment you express hurt, frustration, or anger, they flip the script. Suddenly you're "too sensitive," "crazy," "overreacting," or "the problem." What they engineered becomes your fault. This cycle is designed to destabilize you. First comes the push. Then comes your emotional response. Then comes the blame and humiliation. Over time, this pattern can make you question your own perceptions and feel ashamed for having completely normal reactions to mistreatment. That confusion is not accidental—it's the point. By making your anger the focus instead of their behavior, they avoid accountability and maintain control. They get to p...
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Narcissism reactions

Why not to engage a narcissist in debate about their behaviour Ask a Narcissist to explain why they did the hurtful, destructive things they did and they will ALWAYS bring it back to something you said or did (or else failed to say or do). They will rewrite history in real time. They will nitpick your tone, your timing, your reaction, your silence—anything except their own behavior. Suddenly, their betrayal becomes your "attitude." Their cruelty becomes your "provocation." Their lies become your "lack of trust." This is how they escape accountability: by making you the cause of the harm they chose to inflict. None of that is true. The real reason is simple: they are lying, heartless manipulative monsters, with the emotional maturity of a toddler. They lack empathy, not awareness. They knew exactly what they were doing. They saw the impact. They just didn't care—as long as they stayed in control, protected their image, and avoided shame. ...
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Narcissism

Every secret you share with a narcissist becomes a weapon they'll use against you later. You trusted them. You opened up. You shared things you'd never told anyone—your fears, your traumas, your insecurities, your past mistakes. And in that moment, they seemed safe. They listened. They validated. They made you feel understood. So you kept sharing, kept being vulnerable, kept giving them access to the most private parts of yourself. But they weren't listening to understand you. They were listening to collect ammunition. Every secret you shared was filed away for future use. Every vulnerability you exposed became a target they'd aim for later. Every piece of your past became leverage they'd use when convenient. And when things go bad, when you set a boundary or call out their behavior, they weaponize everything. They throw your secrets in your face. They use your traumas against you. They mock your insecurities. They expose what you trusted them with to hurt ...
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Church turn around by Chuck Lawless

Maybe you see that your church is headed in the wrong direction. You know the church needs a turnaround, but you're not sure where to start. Here are some basic first steps in the right direction. Commit to personal gut-wrenching prayer and fasting. Prayer says, "We need God," and fasting says, "We want God more than anything, including food." If you're unwilling to seek God this deeply, don't expect much to change. Admit the problem.  Something's  happening when a church has plateaued or is in decline. Any tendency to whitewash the problem will only prolong it. Be aware of the  specific  trends. If your church is decreasing in attendance, don't ignore that. If the giving is decreasing, take note. The sooner you recognize any negative trends, the sooner you can address them. The more specific you are about the concerns, the more your response can be targeted.  Lovingly help the church see the problem.  Sometimes only the leaders see the problem, ...
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Dave Kraft

DON'T STRIVE TO BE A LEADER UNLESS… by  Dave Kraft  |  Feb 9, 2026   It was president Harry Truman who said,  "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."  There are certain things that "go with the territory" as it were. Leadership is not simple and it's not easy most of the time. It can be lonely, and you will not always be the most popular person around. "If your goal in life is to keep everybody happy, don't become a leader, sell ice-cream" – Eric Geiger Here are a few "Goes-with-the-territory" I've thought of: Which of these are you willing to live with, to take responsibility for, and expect as you trust Jesus? 1.  You are okay with being misunderstood, disliked, and unpopular 2.  You can delegate responsibility for making decisions to others, not just tasks  3.  You are willing to feel alone and lonely at times 4.  You can make decisions without second-guessing yourself or being fearful of what others may say ...
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