Bible Study for after church study Sunday 12 March

Study  9 Absalom: The Rebel Prince Charming  2 Samuel 12:7-25 

by Chuck Swindoll

 

The Bible never flatters its heroes. The handsome, young warrior who swept wise and beautiful Abigail off her feet was, in fact, a polygamist. Apparently one woman was not enough. So David compromised God's sacred institution of marriage—one woman, one man, together for life—and chose to marry not just one, but many women.

I must admit that this part of David's character has always disturbed and perplexed me. He was a man after God's heart, a valiant warrior who learned to trust the Lord for everything. He was also a tender and talented worshiper with the soul of a poet and a talent for music. His integrity outdistanced that of his peers, yet . . .

We can only wonder what it must have been like for Abigail to find out that she was just another in his harem once the honeymoon was over. David married her while he was king of nothing, learning obedience on the rugged frontier of Judea. Some time after, he became king over part of Israel and moved his wives into the palace in Hebron. Then, after another seven and one-half years, his enemies died, leaving no resistance to his becoming the unrivaled monarch of the twelve tribes. That's when he and his wives moved to Jerusalem.

Despite the Lord's express command against Israel's kings building harems (Deuteronomy 17:17), Abigail shared the palace in Jerusalem with Michal, Ahinoam, Maacah, along with a number of other wives and concubines. The practice was socially acceptable—almost expected of royalty in those days. However, as we'll see, it kept David's dynasty from becoming everything God would have wanted.

The inspired human author of 2 Samuel tells us in his opening remarks that David fathered a number of sons by these women. Alexander Whyte paints a vivid word picture of David and his household:

Polygamy is just Greek for a dunghill. David trampled down the first and best law of nature in his palace in Jerusalem, and for his trouble he spent all his after-days in a hell on earth. David's palace was a perfect pandemonium of suspicion, and intrigue, and jealousy, and hatred—all breaking out, now into incest and now into murder. And it was in such a household, if such a cesspool could be called a household, that Absalom, David's third son by his third living wife, was born and brought up.

In this seething cauldron of intrigue and deceit, Maacah (which means "oppressed" in Hebrew) reared her son, Absalom. His name means "Father of peace," which will become more ironic as the story unfolds. Even without their association with David, Maacah and her son had royal blood running through their veins. She was the daughter of Talmai, the king of an important city up near the Sea of Galilee.

ABSALOM'S CHILDHOOD INFLUENCE

 

Twenty years transpired between 2 Samuel 3 and 13. David's kingdom grew, and the friends who remained loyal to him during his humble days in the wilderness began to reap the rewards of their devotion. The Bible calls them "the thirty," as you may remember from our first chapter. Eliam gave his beautiful daughter in marriage to Uriah, a fellow member of this elite "band of brothers." And David gave Uriah an estate just behind the palace. He also gave Eliam's father an important role as one of his chief advisors—secretary of state in his royal cabinet, if you will. His name was Ahithophel. (Another name to remember.)

During these twenty years, David remained exceptionally busy. He defeated the Philistines, conquering Moab, Edom, Ammon, and Aram. He also wiped out a number of massive invading armies. And when David wasn't conquering or building, he was lost in the endless affairs of state. Much of his time was spent in secret council chambers making decisions concerning war, diplomacy, building, taxation, administration. The remainder was spent in travel, on parades, giving speeches, and making appearances in one venue after another. He had too many wives and too many children to have much of an influence on any of them—except by accident. He helped conceive lots of children, but he helped rear none of them.

To give you a more specific idea of how many wives and children we're talking about, I've developed a chart, which is located on the following page. I count eight wives who are named, a number of unnamed wives who bore him children, and no fewer than ten concubines. Then each of the named wives has at least one child, though Michal had none. She had her father's (King Saul) temperament, which may explain her remaining barren (2 Samuel 6:20–23).

During an uncharacteristic lull in David's life, when the king was supposed to be at war, he saw Bathsheba, the beautiful wife of Uriah, bathing in the backyard of the estate he had given his longtime friend. His idleness and lust made for a bad combination. While Uriah fought the enemy, David committed adultery with his wife. And when she became pregnant, David wound up having his steadfast friend murdered to cover his sin. As soon as Bathsheba ended her time of mourning, he made her his wife. Scripture says, "the thing that David had done was evil in the sight of the LORD" (2 Samuel 11:27). The Lord ultimately broke open the scandal and pronounced this judgment on David:

Behold, I will raise up evil against you from your own household; I will even take your wives before your eyes and give them to your companion, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. Indeed you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, and under the sun.        2 SAMUEL 12:11–12

 

Although David repented—genuinely and completely—and the Lord restored him to complete favor, the palace was never the same place again. The sins he had committed took an awful toll. The king became a timid judge of right and wrong, reluctant to rule with kingly authority.

During all of this, Absalom entered adulthood encircled by his father's bickering, jealous wives. He already had resentments built up against his absentee father. But after discovering that his dad was an adulterer and murderer, his struggling respect slowly sank into utter disgust.

ABSALOM'S DEFINING MOMENT

 

In tragic homes like this, the siblings must depend upon one another for emotional strength and survival. Absalom and his sister Tamar became very close. In fact, Absalom loved her so much that later he would name his own daughter after her.

As chapter 13 opens, we find Absalom a bitter, angry man. What happened next would cause him to snap:

Now it was after this that Absalom the son of David had a beautiful sister whose name was Tamar, and Amnon the son of David loved her. Amnon was so frustrated because of his sister Tamar that he made himself ill, for she was a virgin, and it seemed hard to Amnon to do anything to her.  2 SAMUEL 13:1–2

 

Amnon, David's oldest son fell in love with Tamar, his half sister. His incestuous affections were all wrong. The Old Testament called both his desire and what he did next an "abomination" (Leviticus 18:6–18, particularly verse 8; Leviticus 20:17; Deuteronomy 27:22). Jonadab was an evil influence on Amnon as he encouraged him to act on his lust:

So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill; when the king came to see him, Amnon said to the king, "Please let my sister Tamar come and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat from her hand." Then David sent to the house for Tamar, saying, "Go now to your brother Amnon's house, and prepare food for him." . . . Then Amnon said to Tamar, "Bring the food into the bedroom, that I may eat from your hand." So Tamar took the cakes which she had made and brought them into the bedroom to her brother Amnon. When she brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, "Come, lie with me, my sister." But she answered him, "No, my brother, do not violate me, for such a thing is not done in Israel; do not do this disgraceful thing! As for me, where could I get rid of my reproach? And as for you, you will be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore, please speak to the king, for he will not withhold me from you." 2 SAMUEL 13: 6–7, 10–13;

 

What a bizarre thing for Tamar to say! David would have permitted a marriage between his children? He had either lost his mind or lost any sense of authority over his family. Unfortunately, Tamar's reasoning wouldn't stop her half brother's forced advances. He raped her:

However, he would not listen to her; since he was stronger than she, he violated her and lay with her.  2 SAMUEL 13:14

 

When he finished satisfying his lust with Tamar, Amnon's great "love" turned instantly to bitter hatred, and he said to her, "Get up, go away" (v. 15). Then he threw her out onto the street.

Now take note of the reaction of the men in her life:

Then Absalom her brother said to her, "Has Amnon your brother been with you? But now keep silent, my sister, he is your brother; do not take this matter to heart." So Tamar remained and was desolate in her brother Absalom's house. Now when King David heard of all these matters, he was very angry. But Absalom did not speak to Amnon either good or bad; for Absalom hated Amnon because he had violated his sister Tamar. 2 SAMUEL 13:20–22

 

David was very angry? That's it? That's all? Just angry? According to the Law, which David knew very well, whoever violated his sister was to be vomited out of the community. That was the law of a land over which David was king. He was to enforce the Law of God! David should have put him out of the house, out of Jerusalem, out of the land of Israel, thereby making a bold statement to all the community that his son's actions had caused him to be an abomination. But Amnon knew his father. So did all of his children. Amnon knew he could get away with it. Due to his father's past failures, he had no backbone for discipline. That's why Amnon had such gall.

David got very angry . . . but he did nothing!

ABSALOM'S CHOICE

 

Absalom, already embittered toward his father, stewed in his resentment and anger for two long years. He waited in vain for his father to do what was right. Remember our study of Cain in chapter 2? Unresolved sin and anger will eventually lead to tragedy, quite possibly murder. Not surprisingly, that's exactly the plan Absalom put in motion:

Absalom commanded his servants, saying, "See now, when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say to you, 'Strike Amnon,' then put him to death. Do not fear; have not I myself commanded you? Be courageous and be valiant." The servants of Absalom did to Amnon just as Absalom had commanded. —2 SAMUEL 13:28–29

 

So we have Prince Absalom raised in this unruly, undisciplined, completely dysfunctional home. His half brother raped his sister with no consequences because their father was too weak to uphold the Law of God in his own home. And all of this leads to yet another murder. Absalom killed Amnon, then went into hiding. Don't miss where he went:

Now Absalom fled and went to Talmai the son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. And David mourned for his son every day. So Absalom had fled and gone to Geshur, and was there three years. The heart of King David longed to go out to Absalom; for he was comforted concerning Amnon, since he was dead.  2 SAMUEL 13:37–39

 

Remember the name Talmai? That's Absalom's maternal grandfather, the ruler of an important city to the north of Jerusalem. He took refuge with his granddad. Apparently Absalom had established a link with him and found something in the home of Grandfather Talmai that he couldn't find in David's. He remained there for three years.

Throughout this time, rather than missing his son, David's attitude seems to be one of relief. He appears to be grateful that he didn't have to carry out justice against his oldest son. In a convoluted sort of way, the situation worked itself out, leaving David little to do, ultimately, but woo his tortured son home. During Absalom's self-imposed exile, that is exactly what David and his commander-in-chief, Joab, did. But I find David's stance to be an odd one:

So Joab arose and went to Geshur and brought Absalom to Jerusalem. However the king said, "Let him turn to his own house, and let him not see my face." So Absalom turned to his own house and did not see the king's face. 2 SAMUEL 14:23–24

 

This is just a little bit different than the story of the prodigal son in the gospel of Luke, isn't it? That father said, "This son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found" (Luke 15:24). This father said, "Yeah, he can come back, but I don't want to see his face! Let him have his own place and raise his own family, but I want nothing to do with him." Though they must have lived fairly close, there was no contact.

ABSALOM'S SCHEME

 

Both men, it appears, held on to their resentments. David's spirit became increasingly unforgiving while his son lived out his days as a bitter, critical, vengeful man. Being deceptive, he appeared to be something quite different on the outside. Notice that the tone of the historical writer changes from pure facts to introduce a little color:

Now in all Israel was no one as handsome as Absalom, so highly praised; from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head there was no defect in him. When he cut the hair of his head (and it was at the end of every year that he cut it, for it was heavy on him so he cut it), he weighed the hair of his head at 200 shekels by the king's weight.  2 SAMUEL 14:25–26

 

Absalom, though angry and resentful at heart, came across as a winsome Prince Charming. He was not only extremely handsome, but the Bible says that he had not a single physical blemish—not a mark, not a mole, not a pimple, no acne, and certainly no disease. But he did have a distinctive feature: a mane of thick, dark hair that he cut once a year. According to my best commentaries, 200 shekels equaled at least three pounds (1.4 kg)! That's a load of hair!

It occurs to me that Absalom could have cut it more than once per year, if it was a genuine bother. But that unusual amount of hair, combined with his remarkable good looks, must have attracted women from all over the kingdom. So, let's face it, knowing the effect his good looks had on women, it was vanity that kept him out of the barber's chair.

Our prince was as charming as he was handsome. On the inside, his spirit became a tangle of unresolved sin, resentment, bitterness, and hatred. But he maintained a much different facade:

Now it came about after this that Absalom provided for himself a chariot and horses and fifty men as runners before him. Absalom used to rise early and stand beside the way to the gate; and when any man had a suit to come to the king for judgment, Absalom would call to him and say, "From what city are you?" And he would say, "Your servant is from one of the tribes of Israel." Then Absalom would say to him, "See, your claims are good and right, but no man listens to you on the part of the king." Moreover, Absalom would say, "Oh that one would appoint me judge in the land, then every man who has any suit or cause could come to me and I would give him justice." And when a man came near to prostrate himself before him, he would put out his hand and take hold of him and kiss him. In this manner Absalom dealt with all Israel who came to the king for judgment; so Absalom stole away the hearts of the men of Israel.   2 SAMUEL 15:1–6

 

It seems our Prince Charming was a scheming rebel. But we can't be surprised. The failure of David to hold Amnon accountable for the rape of his sister stood between father and son. And so, just as the prophet Nathan had earlier predicted, the sword never departed from the house of David. When the young man returned, David gave the same attention to him as he did Amnon . . . none. Neither good nor bad. And when the king eventually granted his son an audience, his welcome was very cordial but cool. The text tells us that Absalom bowed before his father and that David kissed him.

While that may sound like a tender reconciliation, we have to remember that this is a different time and culture. In those days, a kiss was the equivalent of our handshake. No tears. No kind words of affirmation and reconciliation. No fatherly embrace. This was a superficial gesture that made official peace between the men, but it did nothing to warm a relationship that chilled with each passing month of pervasive silence. Eventually, Absalom's heart became deadly cold toward his father, and he began a calculated plan to overthrow him.

ABSALOM'S MOTIVES

 

The details of his long campaign to destroy David are enough to fill a book, so I'll focus instead on the important ones: the reason a son would conspire against his dad.

Absalom bore in his heart a deep, unresolved resentment against his father, which kept him from seeing David for who he was. I wonder how Absalom might have responded if David had not kept him at a distance but invited him to come close. I wonder if the boy's bitterness would have softened if his father had chosen to be completely transparent, unguarded, willing to bear even pent-up anger and extreme criticism.

We, as parents, have a mistaken notion that our children expect us to be perfect. And we have an uncanny ability to keep them at a distance, thinking that it will conceal the flaws that we hate most about ourselves. In truth, our children want to know us as we are—flaws, hurts, confusion, limitations, scars, the whole truth, warts and all. They want to love us deeply, but that requires unguarded vulnerability and painful authenticity. Too many of us remain focused on making a living and maintaining a reputation that we hope will inspire awe. You might be able to get away with that when they're young, but as they mature, they'll see the cracks in your character. They'll see through all the cover-up. Disillusioned and disappointed, they will pursue authenticity somewhere else.

All Absalom wanted was to know his real dad. If he had seen David's profound sorrow over his sins and heard a heartfelt apology for his poor handling of Amnon's violation of Tamar, what a difference it would have made. Instead, what he got was a sterile, formal relationship sealed by a dutiful kiss.

Another reason for Absalom's rebellion was David's halfhearted expression of forgiveness. The young man wanted resolution so much that he preferred death to living in limbo. Observe his attitude when he originally requested to see his father:

Why have I come from Geshur? It would be better for me still to be there. Now therefore, let me see the king's face, and if there is iniquity in me, let him put me to death. 2 SAMUEL 14:32

 

Tragically, the young man's attempt to connect with his father failed to give him any resolution. His anguish knew no bounds.

Considering all that had happened—David's own sin, his unwillingness to punish Amnon, his refusal to build a bridge back to Absalom, giving him neither justice nor mercy—is it any wonder that Absalom used justice to curry favor with the people and undermine his father? I find great irony in the biblical writer's choice of words:

Moreover, Absalom would say, "Oh that one would appoint me judge in the land, then every man who has any suit or cause could come to me and I would give him justice." And when a man came near to prostrate himself before him, he would put out his hand and take hold of him and kiss him.  —2 SAMUEL 15:4–5; emphasis added

 

ABSALOM'S CONTEMPT FOR DAVID

 

When Absalom finally was given freedom to roam Jerusalem and the palace, he set up his own little kingdom within David's. Over time, it grew like a cancer, steadily turning loyal subjects into rebels. He started by dispensing judgment to the people so their attitude toward the king would sour. Then he set his sights on one of David's top advisers, a disgruntled member of his cabinet. You may remember his name from earlier in this chapter. It's Ahithophel.

And Absalom sent for Ahithophel the Gilonite, David's counselor, from his city Giloh, while he was offering the sacrifices. And the conspiracy was strong, for the people increased continually with Absalom.  2 SAMUEL 15:12

 

Winning over Ahithophel was no small victory, but it didn't take much. He was probably just as disillusioned with David as Absalom. This elder statesman was the grandfather of Bathsheba, with whom David committed adultery and for whom David murdered Uriah, a close companion to Ahithophel's son. In this very shrewd move, Absalom turned a strained relationship between Ahitophel and David to his advantage. Winning this respected nobleman gave him enough support among Israel's elite to overthrow the king. To cut to the chase, David had to flee the palace and return to his wilderness life. Only this time, his own son, not Saul, sought to kill him.

To rub salt into David's wound, Ahithophel, the grandfather of Bathsheba, gave Absalom this advice:

Ahithophel said to Absalom, "Go in to your father's concubines, whom he has left to keep the house; then all Israel will hear that you have made yourself odious to your father. The hands of all who are with you will also be strengthened." So they pitched a tent for Absalom on the roof, and Absalom went in to his father's concubines in the sight of all Israel. The advice of Ahithophel, which he gave in those days, was as if one inquired of the word of God; so was all the advice of Ahithophel regarded by both David and Absalom. —2 SAMUEL 16:21–23;

 

Where was David when he first lusted after Bathsheba? Did you notice where Ahithophel said to place the tent? The roof. And thus the prophecy was fulfilled. "I will even take your wives before your eyes and give them to your companion, and he will lie with your wives in broad daylight. Indeed you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all Israel, and under the sun" (2 Samuel 12:11–12). The reenactment of rooftop lust was the ultimate payback, ripping the scabs off his father's old wounds.

ABSALOM'S DEMISE

 

I wish the story of this Prince Charming ended like a fairy tale. But 2 Samuel 19 tells us the sordid, sad ending of his life. David had rallied loyal troops and was fighting to regain his throne. His army and that of his son were engaged in battle, and David's had gained the upper hand. Joab, David's commander-in-chief, and two other men with whom he had planned his strategy were close by when the king gave strict instructions concerning the battle:

The king charged Joab and Abishai and Ittai, saying, "Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom." And all the people heard when the king charged all the commanders concerning Absalom. 2 SAMUEL 18:5

 

Obviously, David bore tremendous guilt over his longstanding neglect of the boy he kept at arm's length, the young man whom he had never known or mentored. His fight was to regain his rightful place on the throne of Israel, not retribution, certainly not to see his son dead. Nevertheless, the source of Absalom's vanity would prove to be his undoing:

Now Absalom happened to meet the servants of David. For Absalom was riding on his mule, and the mule went under the thick branches of a great oak. And his head caught fast in the oak, so he was left hanging between heaven and earth, while the mule that was under him kept going. When a certain man saw it, he told Joab and said, "Behold, I saw Absalom hanging in an oak." Then Joab said to the man who had told him, "Now behold, you saw him! Why then did you not strike him there to the ground? And I would have given you ten pieces of silver and a belt." The man said to Joab, "Even if I should receive a thousand pieces of silver in my hand, I would not put out my hand against the king's son; for in our hearing the king charged you and Abishai and Ittai, saying, 'Protect for me the young man Absalom!' Otherwise, if I had dealt treacherously against his life (and there is nothing hidden from the king), then you yourself would have stood aloof." Then Joab said, "I will not waste time here with you." So he took three spears in his hand and thrust them through the heart of Absalom while he was yet alive in the midst of the oak. And ten young men who carried Joab's armor gathered around and struck Absalom and killed him.

2 SAMUEL 18:9–15

 

This leads to one of the saddest passages in all the Bible. A messenger brought news of Absalom's death. What follows in very few words reveals the bottomless depth of David's grief.

The king was deeply moved and went up to the chamber over the gate and wept. And thus he said as he walked, "O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you, O Absalom, my son, my son!" 2 SAMUEL 18:33

 

As we read those words of utter anguish, we realize that the tragic life of Absalom flashed across David's mind—heartbreaking memories of a thousand fatherly failures. Though he would have given his own life for a chance to erase those many errors, the death of Absalom seared them into his mind, like a white-hot branding iron. Remorse is merely the pointless wish that we had done things differently. Alas, it came too late. The time to make things right with those we love is before they die.

ABSALOM'S LESSONS FOR US

 

In this tragic tale of a king and his wayward son—a rebel Prince Charming—I find no fewer than three lessons that linger to this day. I touched on them as I recounted the story, but they bear repeating.

First, an unhappy home produces unbalanced children. However idyllic the kingdom of David, his home was unhappy. He may have built an impressive legacy for Israel and expanded his realm beyond the dream of any other man. He may have been a brilliant battlefield commander, strategizing and mobilizing troops to win impressive victories. And he may have been a man after God's own heart, penning prophetic psalms and composing melodies that prompt others to worship. But he couldn't lead his family in the way that he himself walked. When it came to public accomplishments, he was a success. But when it came to his family, he was a failure. His home was so unhappy and his children so unbalanced, the dysfunctional fallout would keep a modern counselor busy for decades.

Men, I have little doubt that you are successful in building your career and having an impact on the professional world. That's impressive and gratifying. But let me urge you to pause and think: are you cultivating a happy home? Is it a home that will produce fulfilled, well-balanced, godly men and women? Your job as protector and provider is to create a safe and healthy environment for each of the people in your care—your wife and your children—to become anything God might have in mind for them. You don't have to be perfect around the house. You don't have to be flawless. But you do need to be there, investing yourself with the same energy and problem-solving skills and ingenuity that you model at work.

Don't lose yourself in business as your children slip through your fingers like tiny grains of sand. Believe the cliché: before you know it, they're gone! You don't want them one day to look back and say, "Who is that man? Why did he ever have me?" Absalom's story lives on. The lengths to which people will go to fill the void left by absentee fathers are recorded every day at the courthouse. Absalom made his own choices, but David couldn't deny the consequences he caused by his neglect, and his grief proved almost too much to bear.

Second, lack of parental discipline breeds insecurity and resentment in children. We are living in a day in which children have luxury and leisure heaped upon them, with little or no discipline to balance things out. Sure, they'll beg and whine for more freedom, but that isn't what they really want. Like Absalom, they long for the security of a home where right behavior is rewarded and wrong behavior is acknowledged and firmly dealt with. Children and adults alike need that kind of structure to make sense out of the world. Imagine playing a game where the rules changed without notice, and the very moves that cost you points caused another person to win. Eventually, your insecurity and resentment would require that you either cheat or stop caring about the game.

I can't find one instance in Scripture where David disciplined his children. I only see one example after another where a son flouted the Law of God and David did nothing. In the end, even his most trusted and loyal general, Joab, knew he could disobey a direct order and suffer no consequences. Boundaries were conspicuous by their absence.

Lack of parental rule setting and reinforcement breeds insecurity. I cannot guarantee that if you discipline consistently and fairly that you'll have model children. But I can guarantee that if you discipline them, you will be obeying Scripture. I encourage you to be faithful to do what is right and leave the results to the Lord. Your children need your love and affection . . . plenty of both. But with equal passion, they long for boundaries that are set and maintained.

Third, failure to repair a broken relationship inflicts wounds that never heal. I once had the unfortunate task of trying to counsel a family very much like David's. The father was extremely busy making a lot of money. His girls and his one boy soon sensed that his business meant more to him than they did. And so they began to live cheap, sensual, compromising lives that they didn't even bother to conceal. The behavior of the children became so notorious that the testimony of the church came under criticism by the community, so I had to visit the family at their home. At one point I had to break up a fistfight between two of the girls after they brought down the dining room chandelier and knocked a shutter off the window. The mother sat there wringing her hands, muttering, "I just don't know what I'm going to do with these children." Obviously the relationships between each member of this family had been broken for a very long time, if ever there were any to begin with.

At the age of forty-two, the father's heart stopped beating long enough to cause significant brain damage. By most standards, he was dead, although his body lingered for some time at the veteran's hospital. As the children visited, hoping for some sign that there might be a chance for reconciliation, the grief mounted as his condition declined. Finally, he died. The dismal atmosphere of remorse and profound heartache that filled the mortuary made it almost impossible to breathe.

This father had departed emotionally long before his tragic end. He left his children with no moral guidance. He left his wife to fill the role of both parents. He left his family with no reason to think that they were important and loved. And he left them with no way to heal the deep, emotional wounds they both suffered and inflicted. Ultimately, he left them to make it on their own.

For years, the lingering wounds have continued to afflict the man's children. I don't know that they will ever enjoy a normal relationship with a mate or their children or anyone intimate.

I urge you to make the effort now to repair those broken relationships. Trust me, it's worth it. Again, I repeat: It's never too late to start doing what is right! Make contact today. Begin with these words: "I have been wrong. I love you, and I want a close relationship with you. Please forgive me and tell me how we can make it happen."

Tough words, I know. But they're easier than, "If only I had . . ."

I remember memorizing a very short poem by John Greenleaf Wittier in grammar school with all my classmates. It was an assignment required by a very wise teacher. She knew that those in her class were too young for it to make much sense then . . . but someday it would register. I cannot name the times I have repeated these words to myself and others during my adult years. Because they fit so perfectly the tragic story of this well-known father and his rebellious son, I leave them for you to ponder:

For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: "It might have been!"

 

Questions For Growth Group.

What things when neglected can stop a car running?

When there is tension in a relationship do you address it immediately or do you put it off?

Is there anyone you go out of your way to avoid?

Christian families experience tensions.   We reap what we sow.

Gal 6: 7 Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.8 For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.10 So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.

How is this true relationally within a family?

How was this true in David's family life?

Reconciliation. Is there anyone you need to be reconciled with?

Why should you be reconciled?

How will you proceed this week to begin a process of reconciliation?